I was raised as an only child (well until my 18th birthday and my dad gave me a baby sister...) but the point is, only child!! I remember always wanting a big family. I dreamed of having 4 or 5 kids (and yes, even more).
My mother came from a family of 7 kids. It's so awesome having that many aunts and uncles not to mention all the cousins!! Family reunions were so much fun!! To this day, I still hold on to the notion of having a big family. Truth is, I'm sad that my daughter is 2 and half and she doesnt have a lil brother or sister.
There are plenty of my friends and family that either just had a baby or are currently pregnant and I do feel slightly jealous. Admittedly a bit more towards my best friend June who just had her second daughter. (did i mention she a few years younger than me) and I am happy for her but my reasons for wanting to be pregnant and have another kid have NOTHING to do with everyone else being pregnant. I'm happily married and the sad truth is... we just cant right now...
My husband, Adam, is currently waiting to get into the Air Force. He is the Delayed Entry Program so basically, he is in unless he does something to get disqualified... and because we already have one kid, if we get pregnant BEFORE he goes to basic, he gets disqualified.
Last night we were cuddled on the couch and i mentioned how exciting it will be to be assigned to a base and try to have another kid.
"I hope thats not the only thing on your mind" was his reply...
Initially I told him it wasnt, but you know what... so what if it is! I am not going to apologize for wanting a bigger family. Yes, I love what I have but there is no crime in wanting another baby.
So here I am. Sanding tall in saying I am NOT going to apologize for wanting this so badly. You're just gonna have to deal with the fact that I am gonna bring up baby conversations a lot. It doesnt mean there aren't other things i think about, it's just this is one that is more important to me.
til anon
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