If you've ever heard that girls are easier to potty train than boys, it would have been really nice for people to explain that to my daughter. Although finally under control, let me tell you about the nightmare of potty training this kid.
Lets go back in time, a little over a year. April 2012. My mother, Alayna and I head down to San Antonio for Adam's basic training graduation.
On the cart are diapers and baby wipes. Why does the 3 year old need them still? Because she really had zero interest in trying to go potty at that point.
We were going to be moving in October and I was determined to have her potty trained before we left for Florida. I read every book, every blog, every "Potty train in X amount of days" you could possibly think of. I consulted every adult who had to potty train their own child I knew. I started with pull up training pants and you know what... it did nothing!! It is nothing more than a diaper. It took my mother coming to help and just putting the child in regular panties to get the whole thing going. It took about a week for her to really nail down what she was supposed to do but there it was.... the light at the end of the tunnel!
Now that she had the basics, time for motivation. Candy? worked for about a day. Suckers? Worked only some of the time. New books? Nope. Chocolate? Negative. Ice cream? Ain't gonna happen. So finally I thought about a sticker chart. Worked like a charm!! She picked out her own stickers (mustaches were the big hit, of all things). 1 sticker for pee, 2 for poo. Although she still had a pull up on for sleeping, it was going great.
Now we move to Florida. New sticker chart - all new set of problems. She did ok making to go pee but this child really did not want to poo. She would go a week or longer without having a movement and by the time she did, it was really big and hard so it was painful! She would cry and cry and cry. We tried giving her food laxatives like prunes and prune juice to help but she would still hold and hold and hold.
She started going to daycare in hopes that being around other kids would help her socially, and she would see other kids going potty so in turn, hopefully helping her with going to the bathroom.
Holy crap did that ever backfire!!! The first week was nothing but wet clothes. I got called all but 1 day that she needed more clothes.
"Well this is going to be a nightmare!" was all I could think. "Give it time, give it time!"
I decided to reincorporate the sticker chart. This time, no accidents = sticker for the day. If she could go the entire week with no accidents, then there would be a special reward. It was usually ice cream but somtimes it would be a book or a new toy. Just anything to get her motivated. At this point, she was no longer wearing pullups at night. She would get up in the middle of the night like a little champ!
Things started looking up.
2 days no accidents. Alright
1 week no accidents! Sweet!!
2 weeks no accidents! Oh thank goodness!!
But then...
The classroom size doubled! So many more kids and not enough eyes! The problems started all over again.
I started looking around online again to see if other parents had went through this and you know what I found?
A LOT of parents go through this but there is this stupid thing called pride that so many are unwilling to compromise and let others know that yes, this happens. This happens often! And if I hear one more non-parent say "It just means your child was never potty trained in the first place" I will slap a Bitch!
Do you want to know the most common piece of advice that the majority of all those had in common?
"Dont make a big deal out of the accidents and just encourage to get to the potty quicker next time."
Let me just say this was easier to read and think about than it was to execute, especially my husband.
He had a very hard time understanding that 1) yes many kids go through this, and 2) he just couldnt grasp why a 4 year old was having so many problems.
This caused a lot of fights in the house. Although never in front of Alayna, most children are sensitive enough to know when there is turmoil in the house.
I cried so many times. When I was alone, on the phone, hell - even walking around the commissary. I was so lost on how to help my little girl. I was so clueless on what I needed to do. All I could think of was make Adam understand that the bigger deal we made, the worse it would be and to just keep encouraging Alayna.
I decided to pull her out of school (daycare) until we could get the problem under control. There wasnt much progress made on the home front either...
I cant even tell you how much money was wasted buying new panties constantly. (If she poo-d bad enough, trust me, it was A LOT easier to just throw them away then try to deal with cleaning and stain removal). One of the motivators we tried was letting her pick out what panties she wanted (usually a princess) and telling her not to get that princess wet or dirty. Still didnt help.
(Unrelated picture, just wanted a cute pic of her to break up the long post)
Finally we decided to go the pediatrician. This had to be the point where I felt like I was defeated and I must have been a horrible mom. Remember that stupid thing I mentioned called Pride? Well mine was gone. It had fully kicked my ass and was laughing at my misery. If I couldn't potty train my daughter and had to resort to going to the pediatrician... what the hell kind of mom was I?
He recommended giving her a daily laxative. Ive heard those can be someone addictive (your body gets used to them so once you stop, its back to constant constipation) so I was reluctant, but we gave it a try. After 2 weeks, I fell down on my knees and felt like singing the entire Hallalujah Chorus! Here it is a couple months later and other than 1 bad day at my moms farm (explained in another post soon to come) she is a potty champion! I am so proud of her and so thankful that we finally made it!
