Before I begin this, a warning... If you are a man, this will be an uncomfortable post to read...
Why...?
Periods.
That time of the month.
Aunt flow has come to visit
Menstrual cycle
"Just give her chocolate" week
Whatever you want to call it, I'm talking about my period so proceed with caution
I have been seriously debating whether or not to even post this. It's a subject that very few wish to talk about and seems to embarrass or gross out others. I bring up this topic for a few reasons. This is a natural thing. Yes I hate dealing with it, I hate talking about, I don't like hearing about it but it happens. Every day, every hour, ever minute some woman is on her period. If you are reading this and are offended by period talk, or grossed out, or just anything that would give you reason to think negatively about this, then please discontinue. For those that stay, it's about to get WAY to personal here!
Why are there some things about being a parent we are never warned about. Why do we have moments of "This is not what I signed up for!!"
I really thought I knew exactly what I was getting into and I thought I knew exactly how I was going to be as a mom. Although some things have in fact gone better that planned, it's always those moments that are without warning, the ones you never even imagined having to deal with that though me for a complete loop of "what the hell do I do now?".
Having a daughter, I knew one day in the future, preferably as far away in the future as possible, I would have to explain to her what being a female means. I would have to tell her about the natural things that happen to our bodies every month. As it would be, the introduction to this topic came way to freakin soon!!
This has happened twice but I will just recount one because this is embarrassing enough as it is without having to tell two different stories of it. A week or so ago, I was on my period. (ugh I never want to type those words again!!) Adam and I decided to take Alayna out for her very first movie theater show (Despicable Me 2). After the show, I took her to the bathroom. Well, being on my period blood got in the toilet and because Alayna never misses anything she laughs very loudly "Mommy you have the red pee again!"
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
... I just died of embarrassment all over again!
I had no idea what to say to her other than "Yes sweety, now let's hurry up and finish so we can meet Daddy and go home." Of course that didnt work, she still wanted to talk about it. So plenty of "no no no" "shhhhh" and gibberish to drown out her words and we made it out. Adam asked what happened cause he heard some "commotion" and I told him about it... The insane laughter erupted and I couldnt help but join in.
I am still not prepared to explain to her what happens every month. I don't even think she would understand, but I've been asking myself repeatedly, why was I never warned about the toddler years of shared bathrooms and that time of the month? As a society, we seem to not talk about those personal topics but surely family could have offered some warning... I can't be the only mother in history who has gone through this and I surely will not be the last.
Some might wonder "how about just dont share a bathroom!" At home we don't, but in public we still do because it's just easier. Plus I am not gonna leave my 4 year old outside the stall to wait for me.
Now that I have put myself out there with one of the most embarrassing moments of motherhood, I can recoil into my ball of humiliation!
Monday, August 12, 2013
Sunday, July 28, 2013
Little Piercings
*This is no where near written as well as I would like, just bare with me*
The topic of getting little girls ears pierced seems to be a hot topic between all grandmothers and new moms.
"It's easier to take care of as an infant"
"They won't even remember the pain"
The plus side of the conversation is almost endless.
When my daughter entered the world 4 years ago, it wasn't long before her grandmothers (on both sides) wanted to know when she would be getting pierced.
I have to tell you, it was a no brainer to declare "She will get them when she is old enough to ask!"
Although everyone accepted this, Nana still lovingly pushed for me to change my mind. She even said if she would take her to get them done if I was afraid of being there for the pain.
7 weeks ago, Alayna asked about getting her ears pierced. She always enjoyed playing with my ears so I wasn't surprised. However, this is a 4 year old child we are dealing with... Their wants and desires change in an instant so I said I would give it a week. Every day for that week she asked about getting them.
When the weekend came around we headed to the mall.
Next we went to pick out earrings. I knew there would have to be 2 people so that the ears were done at the same time, otherwise there would be only 1 earring. However, we were a bit early so...
Our favorite place to eat at the mall.... the pretzel place. This kid loves her pretzel sticks
And her lemonade.
After all our bellies were happy and full, it was time!
I'm pretty sure she had NO IDEA what it she was in for. I tried explaining it to her many times and I told it would hurt for a little bit but not to be afraid. She sat on my lap like an excited little squirrel. She liked the part where the ladies took markers and "drew" on her ears. Then it was
1...
2...
3!!!
*SCREAMING CRYING PAIN!!!!!!!*
Oh my heart broke for that kid!
Adam took her out to the bench to get her to calm down.
It took a little bit and the promise of candy for her to finally calm down and then it was huge smiles and laughing about her pretty diamond earrings!
Now 6 weeks later, She has quite the collection. Yes she picked them all out. We still haven't changed them out her originals just yet but that will happen very soon.
Looking back on all this, I have to agree with the Grandma's that it would have been a lot easier to have done this when she was an infant, but I still would not have done it. My little girl chose for herself to take this big step and I wouldn't want to change that.
The topic of getting little girls ears pierced seems to be a hot topic between all grandmothers and new moms.
"It's easier to take care of as an infant"
"They won't even remember the pain"
The plus side of the conversation is almost endless.
When my daughter entered the world 4 years ago, it wasn't long before her grandmothers (on both sides) wanted to know when she would be getting pierced.
I have to tell you, it was a no brainer to declare "She will get them when she is old enough to ask!"
Although everyone accepted this, Nana still lovingly pushed for me to change my mind. She even said if she would take her to get them done if I was afraid of being there for the pain.
7 weeks ago, Alayna asked about getting her ears pierced. She always enjoyed playing with my ears so I wasn't surprised. However, this is a 4 year old child we are dealing with... Their wants and desires change in an instant so I said I would give it a week. Every day for that week she asked about getting them.
When the weekend came around we headed to the mall.
The first step was to get a hair cut. She was in desperate need!! She has never been a fan of hair salons but this time, she did perfect!!
After all our bellies were happy and full, it was time!
I'm pretty sure she had NO IDEA what it she was in for. I tried explaining it to her many times and I told it would hurt for a little bit but not to be afraid. She sat on my lap like an excited little squirrel. She liked the part where the ladies took markers and "drew" on her ears. Then it was
1...
2...
3!!!
*SCREAMING CRYING PAIN!!!!!!!*
Oh my heart broke for that kid!
Looking back on all this, I have to agree with the Grandma's that it would have been a lot easier to have done this when she was an infant, but I still would not have done it. My little girl chose for herself to take this big step and I wouldn't want to change that.
Saturday, July 27, 2013
The Bathroom nightmares (Sorry it's long)
If you've ever heard that girls are easier to potty train than boys, it would have been really nice for people to explain that to my daughter. Although finally under control, let me tell you about the nightmare of potty training this kid.
Lets go back in time, a little over a year. April 2012. My mother, Alayna and I head down to San Antonio for Adam's basic training graduation.
On the cart are diapers and baby wipes. Why does the 3 year old need them still? Because she really had zero interest in trying to go potty at that point.
We were going to be moving in October and I was determined to have her potty trained before we left for Florida. I read every book, every blog, every "Potty train in X amount of days" you could possibly think of. I consulted every adult who had to potty train their own child I knew. I started with pull up training pants and you know what... it did nothing!! It is nothing more than a diaper. It took my mother coming to help and just putting the child in regular panties to get the whole thing going. It took about a week for her to really nail down what she was supposed to do but there it was.... the light at the end of the tunnel!
Now that she had the basics, time for motivation. Candy? worked for about a day. Suckers? Worked only some of the time. New books? Nope. Chocolate? Negative. Ice cream? Ain't gonna happen. So finally I thought about a sticker chart. Worked like a charm!! She picked out her own stickers (mustaches were the big hit, of all things). 1 sticker for pee, 2 for poo. Although she still had a pull up on for sleeping, it was going great.
Now we move to Florida. New sticker chart - all new set of problems. She did ok making to go pee but this child really did not want to poo. She would go a week or longer without having a movement and by the time she did, it was really big and hard so it was painful! She would cry and cry and cry. We tried giving her food laxatives like prunes and prune juice to help but she would still hold and hold and hold.
She started going to daycare in hopes that being around other kids would help her socially, and she would see other kids going potty so in turn, hopefully helping her with going to the bathroom.
Holy crap did that ever backfire!!! The first week was nothing but wet clothes. I got called all but 1 day that she needed more clothes.
"Well this is going to be a nightmare!" was all I could think. "Give it time, give it time!"
I decided to reincorporate the sticker chart. This time, no accidents = sticker for the day. If she could go the entire week with no accidents, then there would be a special reward. It was usually ice cream but somtimes it would be a book or a new toy. Just anything to get her motivated. At this point, she was no longer wearing pullups at night. She would get up in the middle of the night like a little champ!
Things started looking up.
2 days no accidents. Alright
1 week no accidents! Sweet!!
2 weeks no accidents! Oh thank goodness!!
But then...
The classroom size doubled! So many more kids and not enough eyes! The problems started all over again.
I started looking around online again to see if other parents had went through this and you know what I found?
A LOT of parents go through this but there is this stupid thing called pride that so many are unwilling to compromise and let others know that yes, this happens. This happens often! And if I hear one more non-parent say "It just means your child was never potty trained in the first place" I will slap a Bitch!
Do you want to know the most common piece of advice that the majority of all those had in common?
"Dont make a big deal out of the accidents and just encourage to get to the potty quicker next time."
Let me just say this was easier to read and think about than it was to execute, especially my husband.
He had a very hard time understanding that 1) yes many kids go through this, and 2) he just couldnt grasp why a 4 year old was having so many problems.
This caused a lot of fights in the house. Although never in front of Alayna, most children are sensitive enough to know when there is turmoil in the house.
I cried so many times. When I was alone, on the phone, hell - even walking around the commissary. I was so lost on how to help my little girl. I was so clueless on what I needed to do. All I could think of was make Adam understand that the bigger deal we made, the worse it would be and to just keep encouraging Alayna.
I decided to pull her out of school (daycare) until we could get the problem under control. There wasnt much progress made on the home front either...
I cant even tell you how much money was wasted buying new panties constantly. (If she poo-d bad enough, trust me, it was A LOT easier to just throw them away then try to deal with cleaning and stain removal). One of the motivators we tried was letting her pick out what panties she wanted (usually a princess) and telling her not to get that princess wet or dirty. Still didnt help.
Finally we decided to go the pediatrician. This had to be the point where I felt like I was defeated and I must have been a horrible mom. Remember that stupid thing I mentioned called Pride? Well mine was gone. It had fully kicked my ass and was laughing at my misery. If I couldn't potty train my daughter and had to resort to going to the pediatrician... what the hell kind of mom was I?
He recommended giving her a daily laxative. Ive heard those can be someone addictive (your body gets used to them so once you stop, its back to constant constipation) so I was reluctant, but we gave it a try. After 2 weeks, I fell down on my knees and felt like singing the entire Hallalujah Chorus! Here it is a couple months later and other than 1 bad day at my moms farm (explained in another post soon to come) she is a potty champion! I am so proud of her and so thankful that we finally made it!
Lets go back in time, a little over a year. April 2012. My mother, Alayna and I head down to San Antonio for Adam's basic training graduation.
We were going to be moving in October and I was determined to have her potty trained before we left for Florida. I read every book, every blog, every "Potty train in X amount of days" you could possibly think of. I consulted every adult who had to potty train their own child I knew. I started with pull up training pants and you know what... it did nothing!! It is nothing more than a diaper. It took my mother coming to help and just putting the child in regular panties to get the whole thing going. It took about a week for her to really nail down what she was supposed to do but there it was.... the light at the end of the tunnel!
Now we move to Florida. New sticker chart - all new set of problems. She did ok making to go pee but this child really did not want to poo. She would go a week or longer without having a movement and by the time she did, it was really big and hard so it was painful! She would cry and cry and cry. We tried giving her food laxatives like prunes and prune juice to help but she would still hold and hold and hold.
She started going to daycare in hopes that being around other kids would help her socially, and she would see other kids going potty so in turn, hopefully helping her with going to the bathroom.
Holy crap did that ever backfire!!! The first week was nothing but wet clothes. I got called all but 1 day that she needed more clothes.
"Well this is going to be a nightmare!" was all I could think. "Give it time, give it time!"
I decided to reincorporate the sticker chart. This time, no accidents = sticker for the day. If she could go the entire week with no accidents, then there would be a special reward. It was usually ice cream but somtimes it would be a book or a new toy. Just anything to get her motivated. At this point, she was no longer wearing pullups at night. She would get up in the middle of the night like a little champ!
Things started looking up.
2 days no accidents. Alright
1 week no accidents! Sweet!!
2 weeks no accidents! Oh thank goodness!!
But then...
The classroom size doubled! So many more kids and not enough eyes! The problems started all over again.
I started looking around online again to see if other parents had went through this and you know what I found?
A LOT of parents go through this but there is this stupid thing called pride that so many are unwilling to compromise and let others know that yes, this happens. This happens often! And if I hear one more non-parent say "It just means your child was never potty trained in the first place" I will slap a Bitch!
Do you want to know the most common piece of advice that the majority of all those had in common?
"Dont make a big deal out of the accidents and just encourage to get to the potty quicker next time."
Let me just say this was easier to read and think about than it was to execute, especially my husband.
He had a very hard time understanding that 1) yes many kids go through this, and 2) he just couldnt grasp why a 4 year old was having so many problems.
This caused a lot of fights in the house. Although never in front of Alayna, most children are sensitive enough to know when there is turmoil in the house.
I cried so many times. When I was alone, on the phone, hell - even walking around the commissary. I was so lost on how to help my little girl. I was so clueless on what I needed to do. All I could think of was make Adam understand that the bigger deal we made, the worse it would be and to just keep encouraging Alayna.
I decided to pull her out of school (daycare) until we could get the problem under control. There wasnt much progress made on the home front either...
I cant even tell you how much money was wasted buying new panties constantly. (If she poo-d bad enough, trust me, it was A LOT easier to just throw them away then try to deal with cleaning and stain removal). One of the motivators we tried was letting her pick out what panties she wanted (usually a princess) and telling her not to get that princess wet or dirty. Still didnt help.
(Unrelated picture, just wanted a cute pic of her to break up the long post)
Finally we decided to go the pediatrician. This had to be the point where I felt like I was defeated and I must have been a horrible mom. Remember that stupid thing I mentioned called Pride? Well mine was gone. It had fully kicked my ass and was laughing at my misery. If I couldn't potty train my daughter and had to resort to going to the pediatrician... what the hell kind of mom was I?
He recommended giving her a daily laxative. Ive heard those can be someone addictive (your body gets used to them so once you stop, its back to constant constipation) so I was reluctant, but we gave it a try. After 2 weeks, I fell down on my knees and felt like singing the entire Hallalujah Chorus! Here it is a couple months later and other than 1 bad day at my moms farm (explained in another post soon to come) she is a potty champion! I am so proud of her and so thankful that we finally made it!
over a year??
Has it really been that long?
I honestly don't even remember what I put in the last post. I could go back and read it so I know where to start but hey... aint nobody got time for dat!
So lets just start with right now.
My favorite past time :) Spending 3 weeks with my mom was amazing! However, Im back in Florida and it's back to work. I am an at home daycare provider. Aside from some of the ridiculous rules, I love it! I enjoy working in my own home and it made it so much easier for Alayna.
Adam, being fully in the Air Force and getting closer to being done with the initial on the job training, has found a love for kayaking. He goes pretty much whenever he gets a chance. Apparently it's a great way to fish down here. And of course now I cant find a picture of him on it. I know I had one... More proof that I need to clean up my picture files.
So here is a picture of them playing together...
We also have a very hyper beagle. Affectionately named Dory because Finding Nemo is (or was at the time) Alayna's favorite movie.
what a smile....
Life in Florida is just moving right along and each day holds so much potential. I cant wait to see what tomorrow will bring.
I honestly don't even remember what I put in the last post. I could go back and read it so I know where to start but hey... aint nobody got time for dat!
So lets just start with right now.
My fantastically goofy daughter who apparently is truly mini me. According to my parents and other family members, she has the same strong willed, independent hyperness I had at her age. Are there moments where I want to pull my hair out? Uh... YES!!! Do I want to break down in tears because I'm convinced I must have done (or am doing) something wrong? Constantly! Does my heart sing with delight and almost burst in joy with every "I love you mommy" *kiss*? You better freakin believe it! This amazing little 4 year old has the ability to drive me to the brink of insanity and pull me right back to overwhelming love in a matter of seconds. Isn't that what motherhood is all about?
Next month she starts school. Well, half day of pre-k but it's still school. I'm excited for her and I would be telling a lie if i said I wasnt excited for her to be in school. I love this child, I really do... but she thrives in a learning environment. She is such a smart little cookie that is often takes me by total surprise.
For instance.....
Before moving to Florida, we were living in Branson. Adam was still at basic training so my dad and I took Alayna and my sister Micayla to the Dixie Stampede. Please go see the show if you are ever in Branson!
Anyway, they sell souvenir little flags and both the girls got one. Alayna - being a 3 year old- of course spills stuff all over it. This had to have been back in July or August of 2012. That's almost a year ago, yet out of the blue last month Alayna started talking about her blue flag with the pink drink spilled over it and how she wishes it came to Florida.
This happens surprisingly a lot! Yet every time it catches me off guard and makes me just go... whoa...
Adam, being fully in the Air Force and getting closer to being done with the initial on the job training, has found a love for kayaking. He goes pretty much whenever he gets a chance. Apparently it's a great way to fish down here. And of course now I cant find a picture of him on it. I know I had one... More proof that I need to clean up my picture files.
We also have a very hyper beagle. Affectionately named Dory because Finding Nemo is (or was at the time) Alayna's favorite movie.
Life in Florida is just moving right along and each day holds so much potential. I cant wait to see what tomorrow will bring.
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