I have a problem...

The first step is to admit you have a problem right?? RIGHT??!?!?!??!?

Well....I have a problem.. .... I. Am obsessed with wrapping paper.....
Might I remind you the title of my blogs "Welcome to my insanity"   Now you understand...
Seriously I dont know why I love it so much. When I say I'm obsessed, its not that I want EVERY wrapping paper that is out there, its more that I honestly can't pass a beautiful roll of paper. I'm also kinda picky... I'm not a big fan of character paper, like Dora, Spongebob, etc. I love metallic silvers and golds, Shiny..... I think that is the key... SHINY!!!!!!! I was well behaved today though... I only bought 1 roll. (I seriously have over 20 never opened rolls left over from last year)

Here are some pictures just so you know im not kidding...

This is my Christmas box. Bought it last year after christmas as well as most of that paper...
Here are a few of my fav's

I cant help loving my camo paper!

I probably would have bought every single roll of this if they this hadn't been the last one!! You have to love the shinyness.

More shiny!!

This is the only roll I have bought this year... seriously how am i supposed to NOT buy it?!?!

These are too big to fit in the container. I know I said I dont like character paper... and thats true, I didnt buy these, my mom did so im looking forward to using them up!! LMAO!!


I know I'm crazy and thats fiiiiine with me. You have to admit, there could be far worse things than wrapping paper!!! And just so you can get an idea of how all this paper works together under a christmas tree, here is last years picture.

I love the lamp shaped one over there... NO way is anyone gonna guess that one... and i know what your thinking... holy crap that is a lot of stuff... my dad likes to go over board on the gifts... there were 6 of us opening presents as well as a handfull for other family, but ya. It was still a lot!

christmas success!!!

I have been meaning to post some pics of the adorable clothes we have bought for christmas/birthday gifts so here we go :)

This is probably my fav of all. Found this at Old Navy. I didnt even want to save it for later, I just wanted to put it on her immediately! The pic kinda sucks because it makes the sweater dress look really wide but I still love it.

We found this today and I couldn't pass it up. I think her Aunt Kate will really like this one. This is from Carters. No, there are not 4 legs... Just couldn't decide which leggings I liked better.

Another adorable outfit. The stipulation on getting the skirt was that it had to have either leggings or tights under them so that was easy enough!! It was actually really hard to choose which one to get because they had so many very cute colors. This is a JCPenny find.

Because there is so much theater, music, and dance influence in the family, I couldn't help myself with this shirt. This is another Carter find.

This is one that Adam couldn't leave without. I know its supposed to be a boy shirt but who really cares?? She loves dino's and she is cute in ANYTHING she puts on! Also from Carters.

Not really my normal style for what we buy for her but I thought this would be cute for the holiday season.  A Carter find.

I simply adore this shirt!!! Great find at ToysRUs!

One of her favorite things is Butterflies. No... the sleeves are not different lengths, they can be rolled up and fastened with a button. Cant wait to see her in this. This is from Old Navy

More proof that she loves her butterflies. These are from Carters and I dont know why I didnt just put these in with the other pants.... oh well....

I believe all these came from JCPenny. We bought a couple other pants the day we got these but we went ahead and let her use them now since most of her 2T's are too short.


I honestly cant wait for her to open these on christmas and her birthday :)

pumpkin muffin fail....

I was very excited about trying a new recipe for muffins. Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Muffins!! I found the recipe somewhere online and it sounded so delicious that I knew I had to try it!! I had also planned on trying to make a tutorial on how to make them as I went........

Thats not gonna happen....

I guess the title is a little misleading because, truthfully, they do taste really good. The pumpkin is subtle and not overwhelming. Would you understand what I meant by saying the pumpkin in these are a quiet spice addition?? I really dont know how to explain it... It's there, but its not at the same time...
I did a little to much chocolate chips and I wish they were mini but the only thing I had where regular sized. It was just a but too much I think.


The biggest problem is they are a bit gummy... If that makes any sense lol. Anyone who has ever overmixed their muffins will understand (i think)

So i will be saving a tutorial until i can get the fluffyness that i am looking for.

photo dump

I've wanted to post pics of cakes I'm making at the bakery AS I get them done, but lets face it... life gets in the way... so here is a cake dump of what I've done so far (actually, just the ones I really like)

This was one of he first cakes I made for the Bakery. I really love how this one turned out. 7 year old girl LOVES frogs.

A simple cake but I love chocolate icing cakes.

Another chocolate buttercream but its also showing my roses and rose buds.

a fall birthday cake was all they told me. so just airbrushed different fall colors and piped brown leaves for the border.

Thank goodness for the black sugar sheets. I really didnt want to pipe the stripes lol. Anyway, this cake was for the bakery's neighbor at the Salon. Not too thrilled with some of the stripes but it sill turned out to be a cute cake.

Another cake for the salon girls. Just practicing a couple different flowers. First time ever doing sunflowers.

40th birthday cake using car pick. I meant to take the picture before getting it in the box but kinda forgot lol.

Something the Bakery started is selling individual cupcakes. I didn't to show just regular, boring cupcakes so I had some fun and made a sunflower on top.



Hope you enjoyed and stay tuned for more.

"Oh hamburgers..."

My Promise

There was once a time that I dreamed of spotlights and standing ovations. I dreamed of music pulsing in my veins. I admit, I never wanted the spotlight. Honestly!! I'm humble enough to know that my voice wasn't good enough for that. But I thought my dancing and back up vocals could be enough.
Broadway was my ultimate goal but realistically I figured that would never happen. I did have a chance to perform for Royal Carribean Cruise Line.... But I gave up my dreams..... Distant words told me I wasnt good enough, cruel words told me it was foolish, unguided words told me it was no way to make a living.... I gave up ever dream. I made excuses for walking away, "old injuries"  "afraid of leaving"  "wanted to stay in college"  Mostly I was afraid of failure because no one believed I could do it.

I stand here today making a promise to my daughter and any future child I may have someday... actually, I make this promise to any child I might have some influence on...
I promise with every fiber of my existence, I will not let you down by not supporting you.  I will do everything I can to help you reach the stars you dream of. Your dreams are more important than anything. I promise I will always love and support you. If you are gay, straight, bi, transgender, turn yourself green... I dont care! I will love you! I know you will go through phases that I won't like or agree with but I will still love you and do my best to at least make sure you are safe and happy. I promise I will never turn away when you are seeking guidance. I promise I will always be there to listen when you need help. I love you so much and there is nothing on this Earth that could ever change that. 

I miss him so much....

I've been thinking a lot about my baby brother lately. He would 16 months old now.  He was my brother but so many days it hurts so much deeper than that. His pictures are on the walls, on the top of the computer, on the entertainment center and throughout the house. I'm so great full for those pictures... regardless of how much it hurts when i see them.

lets back up a year and a half... My dad was seeing this girl and got her pregnant. Everyone was so unbelievably excited!! The moment they realized it was a boy, its like a new energy took over my dad. He became so much more lively!! That day in May 2010 will haunt me for the rest of my days... Dad got a call that she was in the hospital and he needed to get there very quickly. Something was very wrong, I had never seen my dad cry very much, but you could see the color completely drain from his face and he teared up. We rushed to the hospital as fast as could and headed to the maternity ward. ........ my baby brother, Carter, was gone. The placenta had detached... and he drowned in the blood. My hands are shaking so bad writing all this...... The doctors said that the only way they could have saved the child was if she was already on he operating table. They told us there was only a 5 minute window when that occurs so there was no hope.

The part that haunts me is seeing Carter... I got to hold him. He was just so purple and blue. The only part of him that wasnt was a small patch on his stomach in the shape of a heart. I held him and just cried and cried. There were no words from anyone. It was so hard to realize that such a perfect looking child was taken away.

15 months have passed and when I think of him I still start to cry. Most of the time is silent tears because I hate crying in front of people but when I'm alone, like when I started to type this blog, its so hard not to cry. I miss him so much.

There was a time when I thought that when I had my own son, I wanted to name him Carter Michael in memory of him and in honor of my father. I still like the idea but my husband really does not like the name Carter. I will always think of him and I will never let him leave my heart.

Looking ahead

I've been having a mental issue lately... (wow thats sounds bad)
My husband found out last week that he is 4th in line on the list to head to basic. In of itself, this is good! This means he is closer to making his dream of being in the air force come true. The sooner he gets in, the sooner we will be able to move to a base. *This also means the sooner we can have a baby ^^ * The sadness in all this is due to the fact that we didnt think he would be going until Feb. -ish anyway... So after the holidays... So I've been making plans for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and ESPECIALLY A's birthday.
I knew when Adam told me he wanted to be in the military that it meant missed holidays and birthdays, I just didn't expect it so soon... Special occasions, like the fact he will be at tech school on our one year wedding anniversary... That one I already mentally told myself we wouldnt be together but still....

I know that I'm not alone in this feeling. He is having a very hard time knowing he will be away from his family. He will never admit it but I seen him tear up when he realized he would miss her birthday.

On a completely different note....
The adoption papers are fully signed (on our end anyway) so we are one step closer with that!!
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I just realized you have no idea what I'm talking about... The short version is my husband is legally adopting my daughter. For the full, in-depth story you will have to stay tuned!!